Living with Adenomyosis and Embracing a Hysterectomy
This is my story of resilience, acceptance, and the unexpected strength that emerged from the decision to undergo a hysterectomy.
Adenomyosis, a silent intruder, stealthily imposed its presence in my life, slowly but steadily disrupting my world. Its symptoms—agonizing cramps, heavy periods, and perpetual fatigue—gradually encroached upon my daily existence, affecting my everyday life.
The road to diagnosis was labyrinthine, fraught with multiple doctor visits, dismissive doctors, and a rollercoaster of emotions. I was about to come to terms with the fact that maybe my doctor was right, maybe this was my new normal, against her advice I had a fourth pregnancy which meant a fourth c-section and apparently, I had brought this upon myself. Last fall I went to dinner with girlfriends and women’s health was the night’s hot topic, I shared a few things that I had been dealing with and the responses I had been getting from doctors when my friend said,….. “This is absolutely not normal, fire that doctor and call this specialist.”
Lab work, ultrasounds, biopsy, and finally, a diagnosis —putting a name to the stealthy invader that had disrupted my life. I wasn’t quite ready for the cure, a hysterectomy. I’m only 39 is there really no other option?
A whirlwind of emotions—grief, uncertainty, fear, and a glimmer of hope for a life free from pain—engulfed me. It wasn’t just the physical implications but the psychological and emotional turmoil that ensued. The emotional toll of a hysterectomy, even when you’ve completed your journey with having children, is profound and intricate. It’s not just about the physical change, but the deep-seated understanding that a significant part of your womanhood, your identity, is being altered. There's a wave of conflicting emotions—relief from the burdensome pain, but also a sense of loss, a chapter closing prematurely.
The days leading up to the surgery were a blend of nerves and quiet acceptance. The operation itself was a definitive moment—a turning point in my life. Waking up post-surgery brought a mix of relief and a sense of loss.
Self-advocacy played a pivotal role in this journey. It underscored the importance of being proactive in seeking answers, advocating for oneself in the face of medical uncertainties, and seeking the right treatment.
The process of healing—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—continues. It’s not without moments of reflection, of wondering ‘what if’, but it's also a journey of self-discovery and a newfound appreciation for the resilience of the female spirit.
Open, candid conversations about women's health with girlfriends hold immense importance in navigating the complexities of our well-being. Sharing experiences, insights, and knowledge about our bodies creates a supportive network that can help demystify conditions and treatments. It’s in these candid conversations that we find empathy, understanding, and sometimes, answers. When dealing with health issues, especially those affecting our reproductive systems, the support and shared wisdom of our close circle become invaluable. They offer a safe space for vulnerability, a place to share fears, hopes, and uncertainties without judgment. I’m eternally grateful for that dinner last fall, and for having incredibly supportive friends.
Resources
University of Washington Medical Center
Swedish Medical Center
Virginia Mason Medical Center
The Polyclinic